Puzzzle

On Saturday I watched The Eurovision Songcast 2010, something I usually like to do every year.

It was very tough this year I think, I liked the winner song and the sweet Lena but still there were many other songs also that would have deserved a victory as well. Well, unfortunately only one can win.

I'm not sure how I got suddenly some virus in my through or what but it has been very sore couple last days.. I hope tomorrow I can wake up and be finally happy with it !

For some reason about twice a year I always happen to catch this cactus in my throat...

What ever, I tried today again to create a new recipe for homemade bread but hahahha maybe I started to early and was too tired or something so they didn't turn out so well but anyhow I know now what ingredients to change next time. And they were ok enough.. hahah

I'm glad it's gonna be warmer soon again. I like hot weather!! And as my friend will graduate this Saturday, I will be wearing a dress and hope it's sunny.

OHHH and some random but not so random thought I had lately... I really want to visit Israel one day !! I'm serious. Hopefully soon!!

They left me all alone.
Everyone.......

//''There is so much I want to tell you.

There is so much I want to hear.

But, if after learning everything, our love breaks........

Then, I'd rather be as I am now.''

...

''You can't put your true feelings into words.

I can't express my important feelings.

If the two of us could exchange the feelings in our hearts.........''

Sunshineee

It has been so sunny that I've eaten double as much ice cream as normally, hahahha!

But otherwise I love it! I put my new sandals on and tomorrow wearing a skirt again♥

This week I earned some money by being a babysitter. I spent couple hours with a five-year old boy who first didn't like me. I thought he was a trouble case but later he seemed to like me a lot hahahah.

Yesterday then, I met an american family and babysitted their two kids; a girl age of five and a boy age of three. Guess who fell a sleep earlier?!
Nah, it wasn't the little one!! I was so surprised that he stayed up so late and just wanted to play and play more... I was exchausted hahahah so at the end I just left him alone to calm down and then he finally hit the pillow. They had a very nice apartment.. I'm a little jealous hahah.

Today on my way to the hair salon I went to library, I read some magazines there and got some movies to take home with me. She cut my hair a little bit, the damaged parts and now it looks better although it's a little shorter.. I guess that's my summer look!

If everything goes according to plan, tomorrow I will go and enjoy some time in a park and later at night going to movies.

Lately..

I've been spending a lot of money. I bought a new cell phone, shoes, two brand new movies and sunglasses. Well, could be worse, but that's still a bit unusual..

Been watching a lot of movies and all kind of crap from the TV that doesn't really move me that much. I just like that I can disappear to somewhere else for a while and just watch something that has nothing to do with me.
Also I've been reading a lot of books.

I haven't seen any of my friends or anyone lately. Only family. I don't even miss my friends really, because I think most of them are bunch of liars who don't really care a shit.

I feel like I got this sickness again. I call it spiritually paralyzed. So that's what I'm right now.. I feel like doing a lot of things and living my life for the fullest and long for some happy moments and company... but I really cannot do anything. I feel like if I try, it all goes wrong and that I will just fall on my face.

Maybe I'm facing the fear of losing again, because I know that I don't really wanna meet new people in case I would begin to like them so much that it would be hard and even more a pity to say goodbye at the end of summer.

Also my old friends, they might think I've left already and don't want to spend time with me because they feel I will be gone anyways. Well I think thats so wrong...
If someone would be leaving soon, I would just want to double my time with that person so that I would have wonderful memories when the person is gone.

Well, people are mostly very selfish and don't take things as seriously as I might take them. Sometimes I wish I could be that way.. I always have something to worry about, even though I shouldnt have.

Anyways, I'm not feeling so well but cannot change it so therefore I will just be and hope that my new life will start oneday.

So long,

Take care.

''What is the boundary between being friends and being lovers?
Perhaps you'll only find out once you've crossed it..''

Where is the girl I adore..

Do you still feel Him
calling in the air tonight
do you still feel Him

Seems like you've done this before
You make breaking hearts look so easy
Seems like you've done this before
You've got breaking hearts all but down
have you done this, you've done this before
You make stealing hearts look so easy
Where is the girl I adore

Do you collect the souls you've lost
in the top of your dresser drawer
Count the number of tears displaced
on lonely bedroom floors
A machine where your heart once was
slowly takes the place of you
Only hold the memories now
of the love I thought I knew

- - - - - - - -

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night.
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind.
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in & out of my life?

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