HMMPH.

I'm sick of the fact that lately I've been so mysterious and kept into myself so that other people have no idea what's going on...

There are not so many things that make me smile anymore. Everything just sucks..

And because everything suck, I love to cry in the shower so that no one can hear me..

I know this is not who I am and that normally I would just kick my ver own ass and just keep my head up high...

...keep smiling
keep going
...keep shining

but this is not the time for it.

I need to fix things one by one.

What's new.

It's been a while.

It's all very frustrating right now.

I cannot understand people. Mainly guys. I've lost two friends lately, just because they are so ridiculous to tell me they like me even though i have no interest in them in that way. Did I do something wrong? WHAT_THE_F***!

My nature is to be happy and friendly mostly, so that doesn't mean anything... well that's alright, people make mistakes -- but why do I always have to be the one who pays it all?! I've lost two great friends...

And I'm sorry to be picky, but I don't wanna date someone that I don't have deeper feelings for ! Friends... why some people just think it's enough? Rather disappear totally? I think only a LOSER would do such a thing... And why the **** they can know if I happend to change my mind after a while? Am I not good enough to fight for? Just lose your hope just like that.. what loosers have I met.

Yeahyeahyeha... My New Year was great btw ^^

Just, a little drama.

And there we go.. I'm facing another problem again : DDDDDD wtf?!

Wellll there is my ex that I thought I have still feelings for... well, in last couple days I found out that I was wrong.

Then there is this girl who seems to have a crush on me. She sends me messages a lot and tells how she doesn't usually dream about anyone.

Well, I told her that I'm not ready and that we'll see....

She doesn't seem to understand.

Well, today I found out why.. One of my friends told her NOT TO GIVE UP ON ME ! wtf ! I was so mad at her and told her how she did a wrong thing and only causes me more problems with that.. Well, she doesn't seem to understand. Seems like she only wants to get rid of me so she wants me to date someone. But _no_way_ !

I'm just a little afraid that again, I will lose a friend because that... If that would happen, I would have close to no one anymore.

Well I had lots of fun with those two at new years. We sang karaoke (Singstar, lol), hang out in her place, set couple fireworks and went to the city. Only bad thing was that it was freeeeezing cold. And that I almost lost my nerves with the girl.

I gave up for candies and chocolate, and so it will be till Easter (when I will eat chocolate egssss for sure). I gave te rest of my Christmas chocolates away, hahaha.

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These cold winter days I'm just gonna isolate myseld and just be in the house with myself. I'm just sick of people right now, and I don't want to see how freak I must be when no one understands anything about me. Or even tries.

Goodbye friends, hello movies, games, books, computer and singing by myself.