Songs I like to sing.

Just listed a of couple songs I like to sing. Although I rarely sing in company..

- Keane feat K'naan: Stop for a minute
- Paramore: The only exception
- Three days grace: Never too late
- Evanescence: My immortal
- Evanescence: Bring me to life
- My chemical romance: Helena

Wiikendo

This weekend was quite nice ^^ just Sunday really sucks..

On Friday I went to DTM with my friends. I had fun even though, it was sad that one of my friends (the one I maybe most rely on at the moment..) had to leave and she couldn't come at all.. Well I had my another lady friend and she also brought her friend who I've once-seen already, so she wasn't just someone random new face. Actually, I really like that girl and I hope that she also considers me as a friend as well.
Then two of my so-called-friends came too (actually I invited them, just because they always whine that I don't wanna see them) and I realized that was a dumb thing to do after all.. Well, it was nice to see them again but it's just sad to notice that they have not change at all... so I would rather just let them be and stay away.
Still I don't like the fact that they whined after I've left that I didn't even spend time with them at the club.. WTF?! I was with my other friends at the club and we tried to stay together with them but they always just disappearred or wanted to seperate... so they are just being stupid and I don't think that I was the one who was IGNORING.

Well, I was so glad that my friend's friend was being so nice to me ^^ she even bought me a snaps : D and then two other girls just came and talked to me.. hahahha, they were sooo drunk.
I didn't drink actually. Just the one that my friend bought me. I felt like I should have, it would have been much more fun, but I had a reason not to.

I was at home at 2.30AM or so. When I took my shoes off, I realized how hard it was to stand up. Those shoes just killed my feet, but at the same time I loved them so much that I want to wear them soon again.


- - - -


Next day I slept in. When I woke up I made a salad for me and my mom. Sooon after that I went off to movies. I saw もののけ姫　- Mononoke Hime (Prinsessa Mononoke).
It was just a little frustrating how people eat popcorn and candy in front of your nose and you can smell it but just drink your cola and sit straight..

- - - -

Today I just tried to download a song but I couldn't find it anywhere so I decided to use some code to get it from Nokia music store
but then wtf, how frustrating it was when first you have to download some shit programs to even download it and then it says some error and it takes so many trys to get it on my computer and then I realize that it's just some shitty thing that the song only works in that stupid Nokia player ! -___-

yeah right... You really never get anything for free, brrrrrrrr.

I also watched a swedish vampire movie that was actually not so well-made as you can guess, but still actually good in it's all simplicity and interesting story : D

Awesome.

i JUST laughed a real laugh. This is gonna be good, I know it for somehow.

Lately I've been feeling soooo low but at the same time, last couple days I've felted that I could just easily be happy if I really want to. I just have to believe in happiness again.

I decided to try again, try harder this time. Get some positive thinking out of things around me.
I will start my diet again, so I'll get ready for the spring.
When I'm satisfied enough, I will go and shop some new dresses and clothes as a reward for myself. Because I deserve it when I will succes.

I got the new CD of HIM and I really am in love with some of the songs already. It sounds like a great record. And very rarely I even buy cds anymore.. it's just that I have all the CDs of HIM so i had to get that one as well.

Today I went to the job-hunting office or whatever it is... near here. I said that I would like to get a hygiene and alcohold server-passes so that I could work as a waitress in a restaurant or sell alcohol. They said I could get those and they would pay me for the material and exams. AWWWWESOME! I think it's uselful to get those, therefore it's a lot easier to actually get a job in reality. Also, I like to improve myself and learn new skills hahaha.

So if everything goes well, I could work during the summer and get experience and money for the future! yayyyy.

Then, soon it's gonna be one of my friends birthday. There's gonna a lot of new people, so I'm excited.

Also what brings me up is that it seems as the weather is getting warmer.. I just can't wait that all the snow is gonna be in the drains and the sun will shine and make it warm. Birds will sing their songs and grass and trees will get greeen! I love spring, I've always loved.

My birtday is in April and I will get to travel to South Korea during that time. I'm sooooo happy about that! I can't wait... and also, I have to go to Sweden to do some shopping and of course, take a cruise there.

I have even some more plans but I'm afraid to mention it yet. I want it to be sure first.

It's all gonna be good. As long as I have my hopes up.

Btw, the kid in the picture is soooo cute! I want to have a kid like that! Adorable!!


PSSSSST.
The reason for my laugh was actually a japanese drama I've been watching lately. It's just hilarious and very silly hahahah, it's called GOKUSEN.

mewww!

Hyvää nimipäivää, minä !

My mom gave me a little garden in a jar, including Carnivorous plant! I was so excited about it that I put a stone in there and it almost ate my finger until it snapped and closed! OMGGG I'm a little afraid of a plant

Next week is my mom's birthday, I have to think about something nice for her..

I did my nails today and my hands look very funny when half of the nails are much longer than you can usually see on me and another ones just broke and therefore are now very short (almost no nails) and then they are purple : DDDD and on the top of it, the paint is almost gone already!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I saw MEW tonight!

I had very nice time and felt like flying inside my head when listening the amazing sounds and saw dreamy flashes and pictures on the screen. I loved it !

no title.

Last Sunday I went to Placebo's concert ^^

It was awesome ! I cannot put it to words.

I had this smile on my face when I saw my man there singing and playing his guitar ^^

luvvvv.

He is so beautiful..

I wish I could be so beautiful.

--------------------------------------------------

Today was busy

(I got horrible headache couple times..)

First I almost couldn't get up. My dad was making noise and I got curious so I did wake up anyways.

I ate and as soon as I got read two pages of this little-print-no-pictures psych-book, I was soon in a sleep again -__-

I didn't get myself up until my mom called me to eat soup.

After that I went to Itäkeskus. I went to do some runnings and we went to a visit with our class. THE TATTOO GUY!! I saw him too : ) and it saved my day to see him.

it also ruined tings too... He has been in my mind since. I even googled his name !!

Then got home and had so horrible head ache that I almost skipped my japanese lesson.

Glad I didn't though, next week I cannot make it I realized.

I just hate it when I go there and my teacher tells us about Japan and I'm just thinking why the hell I cannot go there and see some new places with someone ?

Well, what ever. I cannot wait for Christmas. I even baked ginger bread on Monday! (Almost ate it all already..)

Also, I found my old candles from last years. They smell melon (green) & strawberry (red).

Just.. I'm glad I don't have to buy so many presents this year, since I have no friends to buy them.

I will buy for my girl

for my sweet cat ^^

and for my family members

+ (also those living abroad)

and have to buy Christmas cards btw! Just some ^^

I'm just a sad creature

I really hate my reflection. Should I crack all the mirrors in my room? Especially I can't stand the biggest one. Uglyuglyugly body and my face looks like a fat ghost. I can't stand myself.

We had a little visite today with my class.
We went to a place (a little registered association) for people with learning disabilities. You know, problems with reading & writing, dyslexia, ADHD, autism etc.
We had a lecture and first half I was just yawning and tired as hell and then the rest of it made me really sad. It reminded me of school and especially my time in elementary school. Also when I had difficulties with my slow reading in High School. I wanted to hit myself because that lesson we listened the only one I marked as cool guy in my class.. he was sitting across and I must have looked like a zombie, locked inside my bad memories and just staring in a darkness. I'm just a sad creature. But the whole fucking place that I used to go a year, came to my mind. Even thinking that place makes me breathe abnormally. Those were the weakest times in my life.

Lately it has been pretty weak too. Very gloomy, lonely and hard.
Thinking about the last year, I got dumped about this time of a year and that made me miserable. Well, it was my own fault since I didn't wanted to get married.
Then I met a new friend. He was nice and my saviour. I couldn't stand him long enough though, thinking about dumping him, I still feel bad about it and feel like a monster. But I got my eye on someone else during that time and I just felt it wasn't right, right?

Well, seems like that there's no savior for this time. He just doesn't care .. and I want no one else.

At the end, I want to put three songs that make me cry, eventhough I thought I'm not able to do that anymore.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXMF_fEdz2k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKdUoufMvd4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_gnmBtM49U

(A)nger (B)oredom (C)areless

Why every time I look at the mirror I see some expressionless, bad living, fat and a lifeless girl. She looks like she has lost her life somewhere long time ago!
Well, that's me.

This morning anger hit me. All the sudden I just got angry! I probably was thinkin' about him and that made me breathe some bad air and my brain got overheated. I really wanted to kick something but I couldn't. I'm glad I didn't make a sound, only inside I was screaming from the top of my lungs.
There must be something wrong with me.
Well, I know already that I'm fat and my face has dropped off.

The whole day was pretending. First my mom who all the sudden was leaving the house as I was. I was boiling over a little, but then I immediately hid it.
On my way to school I put some music to let it out with it. (Bullet for my Valentine, I was mad when I noticed I didn't have any screamo or stuff)
I got to school and sit there as calm as I could. Nnnnah, my friend came and I had to talk. I felt bad to ignore some things she said but I just wanted to be alone.
Then the whole hallway was getting full and we went to an art exhibition as a group.

It was pretty cool there though, I put my bad mood on the side and got a dreamy sleepy mood as seeing surrealistic art. There was one interesting video tape which made me to plan my next story to write. I wrote the ideas down for later (right now I'm too weak for the theme on the story; it will be something about manipulation, self-harm and obsessive love, which makes me think of Twilight actually, but nooo I was thinking something way darker).

I was in a weak mood so I needed to spend some money. I only bought sales though, some clothes I was looking at yesterday.
I got a hoodie (it was kinda cute and nice colors hahaha) 15 e
a vest (looks like leather but surely not) 7 e
a t-shirt (green-black striped) 10 e
Not bad actually. I haven't had money to buy clothes lately..

Next I want two CD's. The newest ones from Dúné and Muse. But I have no money... so maybe library or 4shared.com

Tomorrow school.. I hope that there is at least good packed-food if the lession is gonna be boring. Well, maybe I could buy Coca cola zero tomorrow morning ^^<3