What's new.

It's been a while.

It's all very frustrating right now.

I cannot understand people. Mainly guys. I've lost two friends lately, just because they are so ridiculous to tell me they like me even though i have no interest in them in that way. Did I do something wrong? WHAT_THE_F***!

My nature is to be happy and friendly mostly, so that doesn't mean anything... well that's alright, people make mistakes -- but why do I always have to be the one who pays it all?! I've lost two great friends...

And I'm sorry to be picky, but I don't wanna date someone that I don't have deeper feelings for ! Friends... why some people just think it's enough? Rather disappear totally? I think only a LOSER would do such a thing... And why the **** they can know if I happend to change my mind after a while? Am I not good enough to fight for? Just lose your hope just like that.. what loosers have I met.

Yeahyeahyeha... My New Year was great btw ^^

Just, a little drama.

And there we go.. I'm facing another problem again : DDDDDD wtf?!

Wellll there is my ex that I thought I have still feelings for... well, in last couple days I found out that I was wrong.

Then there is this girl who seems to have a crush on me. She sends me messages a lot and tells how she doesn't usually dream about anyone.

Well, I told her that I'm not ready and that we'll see....

She doesn't seem to understand.

Well, today I found out why.. One of my friends told her NOT TO GIVE UP ON ME ! wtf ! I was so mad at her and told her how she did a wrong thing and only causes me more problems with that.. Well, she doesn't seem to understand. Seems like she only wants to get rid of me so she wants me to date someone. But _no_way_ !

I'm just a little afraid that again, I will lose a friend because that... If that would happen, I would have close to no one anymore.

Well I had lots of fun with those two at new years. We sang karaoke (Singstar, lol), hang out in her place, set couple fireworks and went to the city. Only bad thing was that it was freeeeezing cold. And that I almost lost my nerves with the girl.

I gave up for candies and chocolate, and so it will be till Easter (when I will eat chocolate egssss for sure). I gave te rest of my Christmas chocolates away, hahaha.

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These cold winter days I'm just gonna isolate myseld and just be in the house with myself. I'm just sick of people right now, and I don't want to see how freak I must be when no one understands anything about me. Or even tries.

Goodbye friends, hello movies, games, books, computer and singing by myself.

Dizziness

This week has been so strange. Good things happened, bad things happened.
I didn't see him at once.. well, probably my own fault.
Actually, during this week I haven't been so active for several reasons..

I got some medicine and it's making me so dizzy and feeling sick that I have been afraid to go out of home for a long time. It just happens that all of a sudden, I'm staring feeling so sick that I cannot do anything. It's not that I'm eating something bad, just some side effect from the medicine. Just the thing is, it's making me feel so bad that I have to go to sleep that it goes away. I have been sleeping a lot this week, in the middle off the day... Then, when I try to sleep at night, sometimes I have so much trouble to fall into sleep.

Another nightmare happened on Friday. First of all, I already had a bad feeling in a morning but went to school to see N and also the tattoo-guy since he might be in the same group. Well, he didn't show so I was a little disappointed. We went to visit in a place and there, all a sudden... my eye got crazy again and it was having a little shock there since my eye is hurting so bad that it's crying an crying itself out and it was very embarrassing to stand there in a little room with our group (well thank god, I turned my back on them and all the sudden I was ''so into the glass things in the vitrin'' and I was there staring at the glass thingies and just crying myself out of my head. I almost left the whole room but couldn't move myself since it would have been too much attention and probably if I would have done that, I won't come back anymore.

So I was there just waiting to get out of there, waiting to this man to shut up and let us go..... well when he did, I was afraid I look like a mess and was just wiping my eye and explaining this all to N, who though I was just tired and still feeling ill. Well, I'm glad it seemed like that..... well, I told her I have to go home and rest. She told me my eye looked red...

Yeah, well after that I felt so weak that I went to buy something very bad for me..
At home, I started to feel worse and at the end my head was like exploding so I went to a long nap. Also, every day, I have been feeling very cold... so it doesn't really do good for me to go outside?

Okies... I hope to feel better someday soon. Hopefully tomorrow is gonna be a nice day since it's Father's day.
I have a cute present for my dad, of course, since he is my hero

EWWWW, this post was so boring, sorries!!