Chinese zodiac

This is maybe the only one horoscope that I mostly believe.
Chinese horoscope seems to be usually right and this time as well! What it tells about Snake and what I am, there is a huge similarity.

*_____^

Chinese Zodiac - Snake


Personality
Occupying the 6th position in the Chinese Zodiac, the Snake symbolizes such character traits as intelligence, gracefulness and materialism. When it comes to decision-making, Snakes are extremely analytical and as a result, they don’t jump into situations. They are effective at getting the things they want, even if it means they have to scheme and plot along the way.
Snakes are very materialistic creatures, preferring to surround themselves with the finest that life has to offer. This is especially evident in the home, where luxurious furnishings and surroundings help Snakes seek the peace they need in order to thrive.

Health
Snakes prefer living a life of calmness, preferring quietness over noise and a manageable workload rather than a schedule that’s overly-booked. Snakes become easily stressed when their lives aren’t peaceful or in order. Too much of this way of life can shorten a snake’s life!

Career
Snakes do work very hard, but they have a tendency to be job-hoppers as they become easily bored. Their somewhat laid-back attitude causes them to be mistakenly categorized as slackers, but nothing could be further from the truth! Snakes are very creative and extremely diligent. They’re excellent problem-solvers and thrive under tight deadlines. Good career choices for Snakes include: scientist, analyst, investigator, painter, potter, jeweler, astrologer, magician, dietician, and sociologist.

Relationships
Snakes are excellent seducers so they never have trouble attracting others. However, they’ll be the ones to decide when a relationship has potential and when it does not. Once they’ve chosen a partner, a Snake’s insecure side will begin to show through. Snakes guards their chosen partners much like a prized possessions, becoming jealous and even obsessive. Snakes prefer to keep their feelings to themselves. It’s important to never betray a Snake’s trust as a betrayed snake will make it a goal to get even some day!

Earth Snakes – Years 1929 and 1989
Earth Snakes always seem to be calm and content. They’re friendly and approachable and believe that they’ll reap great rewards by working hard and relying on common sense.

darn this Weather!

It's sad the weather still being so cold that I really don't feel like going for a walk -__-

Tomorrow I will see one of my friends but I still don't know what we are gonna do. This crappy cold weather just doesn't inspire me at all.. hahaha.
I would like to go and see AVATAR but my friend probably doesn't have money..

Shopping is also just boring when all the stores are so full of ugly clothes that you can only wear once... I don't like to buy clothes that are for ''wear once, throw away then'' !!
But I would like some shoes for the spring! And summer !

Since I'm moving to Scotland in September, I checked online some local clothing stores. Looks pretty good ! ^^ Still, even there, some of the stores are the same. Those local ones like Vero moda and Zara for example.

I booked an apartment as well!! Actually for a while ago already... I just got the papers done and paid for the deposit. It's pretty nice! I will have 4 other roommates, but I will be having my own bathroom. And it's close to the center! As well as close to the university! Actually, it's in the middle hahah. Awwwwwesome.
And I'm glad that I got things organized already pretty much ^^
Next step is to apply for SAAS to get my tuition fees paid hopefully.

Have a good weekend everyone! ~

Taste in men

Just for fun,

I made a little list hahaha..!

1. Guys with brown eyes and light brown/dark hair

2. Those with a nice clothing style, those who just want to look good, or cool.

3. Silent and mysterious type, so that you can see it from the outside. Still, with a smile. (Those who really hate themselves or are just too weak to be a man, they just make me feel miserable..)

4. Natural curly hair ! Not too wild though..

5. Those who look like their interesting personality, stand from the crowd.

~~~~Also I like a lot ASIAN GUYS!

Broken

I hate this when I don't feel like doing anything. Or actually, I want to do so many things but just not alone. It doesn't feel anything when I do those things alone. It only makes is pathetic, instead of fun.

I dream of walking in the green forest, with the invisible link between someone. Like walking in hand in hand, but not just quite.

Watching the Lord of the Rings, the whole movie trilogy and just lean on the couch. It doesn't matter who is next to me, just someone that I deeply care about.

Take a boat to Suomenlinna and enjoy walking there.


'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ay7QrQzsGk

Adored, loved

I came closer to his problem again. I think I found again more reasons to understand him and his behavior. I’m just still so out of my mind and can’t see what’s really going on. Well, a little by little. This is maybe the biggest mystery that I ever tried to solve : D

- * - * -*- * -


He doesn’t seem to realize that there is a big difference between being adored and being loved. You can easily adore a person, even though he is not himself or you don’t even know who he really is. When you love someone, well obviously you know, or at least think you know them pretty well. He might be just acting or just wanting to get attention in any way he does, and that people would adore him and like him, be interested in him. But telling you the truth, being adore is actually nothing… it’s pretty useless and can only boost one’s ego but really doesn’t get one forward.

Being loved, you can only be loved if you really are your true self. If someone loves you and doesn’t really know you, of course it’s meaningless. We all know that first we have to love ourselves so that someone can really love us. Well, in this case, he propably doesn’t love himself, he is just wanting to be adored so that he can feel valuable and important and through that, maybe one day feel loved.

But seems like the only thing that matters to him is being adored and envied, to achieve and succeed in everything he decides to do. He doesn’t care about anyone, he just wants people to like him and be adored. But deep inside, he wants needs to be loved. He needs love, as we all do.
But it’s just a little bit difficult when he really isn’t himself and just wants to concentrate on the other things, to be adored in any way… To be as close to perfect that one can be. He hides his true self because he thinks he cannot be loved if he doesn’t give people reason to adore him. But it’s just the wrong thing to do. That’s why he is unhappy and sad and miserably in pieces from the inside.

He should just be himself and not to care what other people do or think about him. But hey, he is just not strong enough for that. Inside he is so insecure and scared so he really cannot take the risk like that. It’s just easier to build his confidence, which is actually so fake, to improve himself in other ways.


- * - * - * -


Ohh wow, I wish he could just open up and try to be himself.

Sushi !

Today's word is definitely Sushi.

I went to couple Asian food stores with my asian friend and bought some more stuff to make sushi.

Also I know now where can I find a cheap japanese green tea bottles which I absolutely love !

At my friends place we made sushi today : ) we put tuna fish, cucumber, eggs and carrots(!) in and it was delicius ! Although it was a slow process when we first had some trouble with the rice (that's what u get when there are 3 people in the small kitchen and the fourth person (a guy) is just hanging around and asking questions, making some funny but quite keep-your-mouth-shut comments and just eating all stuff he can find.. A little bit DISTRACTION, ehhhhh?! And then the fifth person just swearing i nthe front of the mirror.

Nahh, it was quite nice to meet my friend's sister's boyfriend, and also that there was some real life going on in that house. I'm so used to just empty and silent house so I really enjoyed having some drama around hahahaha! And I laughed a lot and just remembered how lucky I actually am when not being in the relationship like that anymore.

So it's all good.

Just my friend's friend got a little scared when it was so noisy. I met her for the first time and wow that girl is silent and shy. I thought I was shy or what but now I think again... and wow. People are just so different. But yeah, she was cute for sure, even though being so silent ! Or maybe just because of that...

And I remembered how I used to be so silent also. I'm just glad how much I have changed from that and it makes me smile.

Although, I can still be very shy around some people. But I'm totally ok with that.

Just the bad thing was that the friend of my friends didn't like the sushi that much. She barely eat one piece... and my friend also ate just couple. But I liked them ! They were really good ! Next time when I'm making those, I gotta get some tuna as well.

Still, I have to say that personally, my favorite sushi is that with REAL HUGE FISH PIECE on the top of it -sushi, with good rice and a little tiny bit of wasabi beneath the fish.

I just love my mom when she comes from work with that cute little sushi pack with her that includes 10 little sushi pieces, including some very good salmon and red tuna fish and some while fish one that I have no idea what's the name of the fish.. and it has even a little cute fish shaped soy sauce bottle with it ! It makes me smile the whole little package ! It looks so delicious!

When I got home I found a job that I can hunt next. Just guess what kinda restaurant is that !

Yayyy, shopping tomorrow.

Ohh and btw, I want to go see AVATAR, the movie !!

This should be good.

Everything is getting better, I hope... little by little. Since I'm having ____so_____ much fun lately.

Yeahh, absolutely. It's been just very plain these days, but that's what my life nowadays is. I almost have started to fear if I'm getting so old that I would actually almost prefer to take things slowly and peacefully... and prefer nothing to happen.
No.... Who am I kidding?! : DDD It's just have to be the weather change. It's been too cold too long and still that huge mountain of snow in our backyard. That's just it. I feel like I'm still in my winter sleep, although it should be spring already !

I took the official hygiene-knowledge test (or whatever you call it in English.....) and I passed it way over ; ) hahaha, I'm so good.
Just the thing is, that it still seems to be so hard to get a job. They require that fucking pass but they still want that I have some kind of papers from culinary school or at least couple working years in some food business. Yeah right ! What the ****

Next thing would be to study about serving alcohol and about the alcohol laws. I got the study material and ohhhhh shitt-- it looks complicated. I will see if I manage to do that anytime soon -___-

Tonight I went to see ALICE IN WONDERLAND in 3D. It was excellent ^^ Just a funny thing is that I never liked it as a cartoon as a kid, back then I thought it was too crazy and silly and messy. Well actually, I still think so. Just this Burton's movie version was sooo much better and not dull or bad-like-crazy at all.
Still I have to say, those 3D glasses caused me headache and my eyes dried so much !! I almost felt like I have to take my contacts out.. but of course I couldn't.
In the movie there were so perfect looking girls with their good bodies. Alice, for example was sooo cute and perfect girly looking. Then my favorite Anne Hathaway and her lovely thin body. OMG, I wanna be like her... -__-''

I got a new Singstar game ^^ I tried it yesterday and today I sang a lot too : D it has some good songs so it's pretty good. I want to get some but couldn't find them at sale price yet. Then some night I'm gonna play those at my friends place with her, just like earlier.

Tomorrow there's gonna be some movie on in TV. Actually I can't even remember when I last watch a movie from tv.
Also tomorrow hopefully I will have time to write some letters, read a book...
I would like to go out and take a walk or maybe even jogging, just I would hate to do that walking my shoes full of snow ! So get that efffin snow off already dear weatherman !

Then I have one secret not yet to tell. I just need to wait a week or so ^^

Love.me.

It's funny how we always miss something when it's already gone.

I can still remember how my ex-boyfriend used to be so obsessedly keen in me and he always had to know everything (when he was over, he almost opened my closets to see what I have in there..) and always wanted to search everything through. When I got a text msg, he wanted to read it. He always knew where I was and what was I doing pretty much.

That made me feel like suffocated and that I had no private life. Well af course, I still did things that he never knew but obviously, he got mad or sad if I was hiding something and he knew about it.

We were just too close and intense. He held me too tight, I died in his arms pretty much.. so suffocated and drowned I felt.

Now I'm just alone. I miss him like hell. I would give anything to have those days back now, or just keep him for a little while. Making me feel important and loved.

But I don't love him like he loves me. It would be like braking the balance.

Now I just feel so alone and that everyday is just a waste of make up and... worthless.

I'm such a lover. I need someone to dream about and someone to love, always.

Well I have someone, it's just the thing that he already has someone.

So I love him, but he doesn't love me back.

Just like my friend loves me but I don't love her.

Just like I love her but she loves someone else.

Feels like it all goes wrong and that it's all worthless.

It's just a lot of love.

And love makes the world go around.

Please, love me.

Bring me back to life again.

　　　私を　愛して　ください。

　　　

Aime moi

I feel like cutting my face off

Once again, I realize how ugly I am.
Mostly I think myself pretty, but then the truth comes out every time I see some pictures of me. I'm so ugly !
Yeah, not sure if I get over this... :''DDDD but it's the truth.

Well I'm also short. If you cannot be tall, and cannot be beautiful, you can still be thin. So that's all I got left. My best kind of beauty that seems to be so fucking far away.

- - - -


I realized some cool Radiohead songs from my iTunes that I've not listened before :o some of them are pretty good.

Ohhhh and I went to library and got some movies (5). One of them I watched already, it's called 'Dirty Pretty Things' and I thought it was a pretty good thriller. And there was my favorite french lady in a big role ^^

Tonight I will go to the Circus, which is a club in Helsinki. My friend asked me there, and i've never been there.

Have a good night everyone ~

This is what I have to say for today.

Like this snow leopard, I'm pissed off for that winter.....

I'M SOOOOO SICK OF THIS WEATHER STAYING SO FUCKIN' COLD AL THE TIME!!
I'm gonna just stay inside and sleep the days off if this cold weather keeps going like that..

I don't wanna go into any shops anymore and see all that summer/spring stuff that no one could ever wear in this weather. It makes me mad.. -__-
I would rather take that shitty rain weather, rather than freez my ass of waiting a buss that maybe doesn't even come.

I want to wear something pretty for a chance and go out for a walk and hear the birds!!
No more that f***** snow !


Secondly... I'm a little bored in fact.

01. What do you hate the most?
- The feeling of being full

02. Who do you miss right now?
- My German friend, my crush and Japanese people

03. What is worth waiting for?
- Nothing. I want everything right now, life goes by if you wait all the time. But on the other hand, I always have to wait just like others do, so I would say it's worth waiting for moving to Scotland.

04. What is there that you can't wait?
- Spring, Easter, Summer. To get out of here. To lose weight haha

05. What is your favorite food?
- Feta salad, sushi.

06. Favorite sweets?
- ice cream and cookies (my biggest weaknesses..... -___-)
I noticed that as much as I used to like chocolate, nowadays it makes me wanna puke because it's so strong and fatty tasting... I've learned to like things that makes feel light and refreshed : DDD or just neutral (for example cookies are neutral).

07. My biggest fear
- Losing someone that is important to me.

08. Best tv-show?
- Japanese dramas. Also I like to watch those Next top model shows.

09. What is the first thing you notice about people?
- I pay attention how they act, are they friendly. Also eyes, hair and smile.

10. What things you like to buy the most?
- Clothes (especially jeans, dresses, shoes, tops) and coffee/ice cream when hanging out with my friends

She turned 20

My friend had a birthday today ^^
AWWWW! I love birthdays! There's always cake and a lot of people, people are mostly happy even then.

I bought her a present of course,
including; a shirt, some make up stuff and earrings. She seemed to like it and she even put the shirt on right away, and it seemed to fit well.

There were six of us and her. Some people couldn't come because there is a strike that makes some busses cancel their drives (since today after 6PM..) mainly in Espoo but of course also my bus line belongs to that company so I had to walk today from the metro station -__- it was alright though, because I run into one girl that I know so she walked with me the half of the trip. Also.. it would have been nice if it wouldn't have rain that shitty snow that wet my hair and face... hahahah!

BTW, I was a little proud of myself when I didn't eat that much candy at the party. Just a little bit and couple of cookies. I didn't even touch the chips. Just a little bad thing was to drink couple of ciders... they weren't even light ones... but how could I say NO to free drinks and when everyone else is drinking them?!

We didn't do much, just talked and played some games. I didn't talk that much with three girls I didn't know before, but it just seemed that they weren't that interested in me. That's kinda stupid though, I was nice to them and smiled and tried to talk to them. But well, they didn't seem to be in the same page with me anyways, hahahah! They all just ate a lot... ewwww. And didn't talk that much.

I also met my friend's pets. She has a dog and a sweet cat that I fell in love with ! She is soo tiny looking and black ^^ Love it! I almost took that kitty with me.. Their dog was pretty nice one too, so cute, a little chubby and didn't bark a lot ^^ She is a Spitz type of dog, brownish-grey.

After, some of us (basically me, my two friends and the birtday heroine and her friend) went to the closest bar which was a pretty nice place, with biliard table. We just laughed so much and had great time. Then I decided to leave because of the trouble with the public transportation tonight so my friend drove me to the station and I got home.

It was a great day!! I probably see some of them again on this friday. Especially I liked how I spent some time with my newest friend today. She really is a type of girl I like and not boring at all. I'm so glad already that my friend introduced us couple weeks ago!!

PS. Yesterday I bought a pair of awesome jeans ^^ I just made a promise to myself that I won't use them before loosing a couple kilos first. That will keep!! As much as I like them.....

Nightynights.

Princess.

So often I come to realize what princess I've become!
My last boyfriend treated me like a one, so nowadays I really don't accept anything less. Maybe that's why I don't date anyone.. It's just that people are such assholes and don't respect other (most of us..) and I know that some guys treat their girlfriends nicely and that's what every girl deserves, but just, when I meet guys and girls, I want that they respect me already BEFORE they actually know me.

Well, people don't have to be polite to strangers... I also have those days that I just don't wanna be nice to anyone, but when you get to meet new people or so it's a big plus if you act in a friendly way.

When I meet people (get introduced to someone or just say hi or whatever..) I want them to like me. So I try to give a positive image of myself and be friendly and polite. That's just how I am... so I really don't get people who are just ''Hello.'' and inside their heads they think: ''This is just someone I meet'' HOW THE HELL could you know?!? Maybe the person can be your future neighbor, your future husbands best man or your best friends cousin!! WHAT EVER they just think..

So probably, because I treat people nicely, I also expect them to treat me nicely. IT'S LIKE THE GOLDEN RULE; threat other people like you would like them to threat you. That's something I learn in primary school.

So those people who don't know that, they are just the crap people I don't wanna ever meet.

I'm a princess after all.

That's all.