Once again, I realize how ugly I am.
Mostly I think myself pretty, but then the truth comes out every time I see some pictures of me. I'm so ugly !
Yeah, not sure if I get over this... :''DDDD but it's the truth.
Well I'm also short. If you cannot be tall, and cannot be beautiful, you can still be thin. So that's all I got left. My best kind of beauty that seems to be so fucking far away.
- - - -
I realized some cool Radiohead songs from my iTunes that I've not listened before :o some of them are pretty good.
Ohhhh and I went to library and got some movies (5). One of them I watched already, it's called 'Dirty Pretty Things' and I thought it was a pretty good thriller. And there was my favorite french lady in a big role ^^
Tonight I will go to the Circus, which is a club in Helsinki. My friend asked me there, and i've never been there.
Have a good night everyone ~
Showing posts with label angry issues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label angry issues. Show all posts
Friday, March 5, 2010
Friday, September 18, 2009
(A)nger (B)oredom (C)areless
Why every time I look at the mirror I see some expressionless, bad living, fat and a lifeless girl. She looks like she has lost her life somewhere long time ago!
Well, that's me.
This morning anger hit me. All the sudden I just got angry! I probably was thinkin' about him and that made me breathe some bad air and my brain got overheated. I really wanted to kick something but I couldn't. I'm glad I didn't make a sound, only inside I was screaming from the top of my lungs.
There must be something wrong with me.
Well, I know already that I'm fat and my face has dropped off.
The whole day was pretending. First my mom who all the sudden was leaving the house as I was. I was boiling over a little, but then I immediately hid it.
On my way to school I put some music to let it out with it. (Bullet for my Valentine, I was mad when I noticed I didn't have any screamo or stuff)
I got to school and sit there as calm as I could. Nnnnah, my friend came and I had to talk. I felt bad to ignore some things she said but I just wanted to be alone.
Then the whole hallway was getting full and we went to an art exhibition as a group.
It was pretty cool there though, I put my bad mood on the side and got a dreamy sleepy mood as seeing surrealistic art. There was one interesting video tape which made me to plan my next story to write. I wrote the ideas down for later (right now I'm too weak for the theme on the story; it will be something about manipulation, self-harm and obsessive love, which makes me think of Twilight actually, but nooo I was thinking something way darker).
I was in a weak mood so I needed to spend some money. I only bought sales though, some clothes I was looking at yesterday.
I got a hoodie (it was kinda cute and nice colors hahaha) 15 e
a vest (looks like leather but surely not) 7 e
a t-shirt (green-black striped) 10 e
Not bad actually. I haven't had money to buy clothes lately..
Next I want two CD's. The newest ones from Dúné and Muse. But I have no money... so maybe library or 4shared.com
Tomorrow school.. I hope that there is at least good packed-food if the lession is gonna be boring. Well, maybe I could buy Coca cola zero tomorrow morning ^^<3
Well, that's me.
This morning anger hit me. All the sudden I just got angry! I probably was thinkin' about him and that made me breathe some bad air and my brain got overheated. I really wanted to kick something but I couldn't. I'm glad I didn't make a sound, only inside I was screaming from the top of my lungs.
There must be something wrong with me.
Well, I know already that I'm fat and my face has dropped off.
The whole day was pretending. First my mom who all the sudden was leaving the house as I was. I was boiling over a little, but then I immediately hid it.
On my way to school I put some music to let it out with it. (Bullet for my Valentine, I was mad when I noticed I didn't have any screamo or stuff)
I got to school and sit there as calm as I could. Nnnnah, my friend came and I had to talk. I felt bad to ignore some things she said but I just wanted to be alone.
Then the whole hallway was getting full and we went to an art exhibition as a group.
It was pretty cool there though, I put my bad mood on the side and got a dreamy sleepy mood as seeing surrealistic art. There was one interesting video tape which made me to plan my next story to write. I wrote the ideas down for later (right now I'm too weak for the theme on the story; it will be something about manipulation, self-harm and obsessive love, which makes me think of Twilight actually, but nooo I was thinking something way darker).
I was in a weak mood so I needed to spend some money. I only bought sales though, some clothes I was looking at yesterday.
I got a hoodie (it was kinda cute and nice colors hahaha) 15 e
a vest (looks like leather but surely not) 7 e
a t-shirt (green-black striped) 10 e
Not bad actually. I haven't had money to buy clothes lately..
Next I want two CD's. The newest ones from Dúné and Muse. But I have no money... so maybe library or 4shared.com
Tomorrow school.. I hope that there is at least good packed-food if the lession is gonna be boring. Well, maybe I could buy Coca cola zero tomorrow morning ^^<3
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