Vappu and all this crap

Today is Vappu and I'm doing nothing.
Exept I just ate 3 donuts ! My mom made them so I couldn't say no.

Things just got out of hand when I first got information that my friends go away to Tallinn and then I started to think about going out and chill in Helsinki like usually, but it's so cold that the idea of walking around/sitting in the park in the cold air doesn't sound any good.

Ohh and I heard that my friends are not going to Tallinn and that they party at my friends house. I almost ask if I could go too, but then I though that lately going there just makes me either eat way too much sweets or feel like an outsider so I decided not to ask. Also, they didn't ask me to come in the first place so maybe they don't even want me there.. Which is kind of crap.

I'm very easy guest. I don't usually eat much and I can always behave and see if it's the time for me to leave. Also, I don't whine or stuff like that, I'm just happy to be a guest!!



-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


Ohhh I almost forgot !! Yesterday I went to see a theatre show♥ it was called ''Amijima'' and it was pretty good!
I liked the kimono's they were wearing and the traditional japanese music as well as the story itself, eventhough it was a little simpleminded. Still romantic at the end!

Somebody save me...

Today I enjoyed some Ben & Jerry's ice cream when they gave it for free in the city. Delicious !

I also attended some boring babysitter meeting where they told us about kids & media. Well it was alright...

Now I'm home and got nothing to do. Well it's kinda late so I could go to sleep, but tomorrow I'm all free and got nothing to do.

So I'm thinking this is how it's gonna be... whole summer?

Well, lately I got some new PS2 games so I could play those.. for example Singstar and sing here all by myself : DD

And I have some j-dramas that I want to watch... but it's still not good. I want company!

Someone who listens me and doesn't treat me badly... Just the thing is that all those people cannot come. They either don't wanna see me or cannot come otherways.

i could go to the city and meet a friend, but the thing is that lately all my so called friends have been just annoying and boring.

Like I said before, I have pretty much bad kind of friends, those that don't really care a shit if I die tomorrow. I need friends that I can trust and friends that I know they like me, whatever I do.

Cityviews, shopping bags and travel nightmares

Seoul was ggggreat! I spent there 10 days and enjoyed a lot ♥

I found a lot of things to shop, visited a palace and Seoul tower. Almost everyday I used metro/subway and got suprised how people watched TV from their cellphones in the train. I want too!!
There were many metro lines and once we got so confused that we went to the wrong direction hahaha. But the trains were great, worked well and fast and were almost every time packed full.

When the airspace scandal started, I thought it will go away in couple days. When the day of my flight was getting closer I started to feel worried and when my flight at the end was cancelled I really started to freak out.. I thought, maybe I have to take some crazy way over Russia. Then I thought that I could go to Japan and visit my friends in Sapporo..

On Wednesday when my flight was supposed to be, I went to a department house and at six thirty about, I got a message that I supposed to be at the airport at eight to check in. I was like OMGGGG I still have a way to get home so I ran over the city in the rain and out of breath and as fast as I could I packed my things in the bag and run to the taxi. I was like omfg, If I don't catch this flight, I might stay here for weeks.. so when I heard they delayed it a little bit more and when sitting in the plane at 10, I thought how lucky I was.

My plane wasn't able to make to Helsinki though, and first they said it will land in Oulu. Well, they decided to land in Rovaniemi after all, because of safety reasons (volcanic ash heading to more north..) so the journey got a little more complicated and we all ended up hotel and had great breakfast after 4 hours of sleep and then in the morning they told us to be at the airport at 12.30. At the Rovaniemi airport we had bad news when first of all, there were so many people considered it's a small airport and no one knew what to do and where to go. Then they told us the plane is delayed and takes off at 21 or so. Well we waited... and finally the plane took off at eight and I got home before midnight.

Happy end, ehhhh?
Well, I'm not sure.

I hate to be here, and today again, I found myseld tearing my eyes off again.
Feels like nothing makes sense and that I'm here all alone.

I think I will take a break from all of this.
I might not use internet for a while.
I feel like I need to find my life again.
Just not sure what should I do.

誕生日

I'm getting old... hahah! TOMORROWWWW!

My mom made a strawberry cake ^___^ It's so pretty ! I bet it tastes good as well : )

Also, tomorrow.. This birthday-girl travels to South-Korea, Seoul. I'll stay for 10 days. AWWWWSOME!

This is very great, I've always been curious about Korea. And I think there is very good chance to do great shopping ! I want pretty clothes and something sweeeeeeet.
Can't wait to see it!!


PS. Lately I've been watching so much 花ざかりの君たちへ so therefore sometime my brain fails to think normally : DDD

Easter at Grandma's

First of all, this is our Easter grass : DD

It's better this year hahaha !

Also, there were more Chocolate eggs but I ate a lot of them... hhahahah.

Today me and my family visited at our grandma's. She was glad to see us and we all ate just way too much... I felt so horrible when sitting in the car on the way home...

There we watched old photos, it was so nice to see my grandma's wedding photo! And how my mom looked when she was young. Hahahah there was also our kid photos. Funny photos !

My grandma had done some cleaning around the house and she had stuff that she doesnt need so she ended up giving me

- A Turquoise (stone) neckless which is gorgeous ^^ and a cute red make up purse.

Also I noticed she had tons of bags so I got a big school bag -like one which is leather.

Hahhaha I love them all! Especially the bag and the Turqouise pearls ^^ Something old and cool !

PS. I love my Grandma!! ^^

She is 82 years old and just awesome. She is very healthy and I'm pretty sure she will make it for 100-year-old as long as she wants!

A little story

This was something that I wrote. Just fiction. It hit me today and I had a flashback.


''I told her a lie.

It made her feel sad and betrayed, but when time passed by every day I felt even more miserable and couldn't think what to do. So I lied to her. It was the easiest thing to do and because she was somewhere far away, I didn't have to see her face or even look at her. I postponed my sorrow and agony, at that moment I didn't feel nothing. Not even her pain and I couldn't think about her tears. I concentrated totally to the thought to keep my strenght and my power over her.

She lost her faith in me and still today, I haven't got it back. I know that I don't deserve it back, but at the same time I'm angry at myself for letting her down and even more, telling her things that were horrible lies. Just to save her and save myself (I thought..)

But she still doesn't know the truth, and some of these days, I'm not sure if I know either. I hid my feelings so well that I made myself to believe my own lies. But the truth is, I was only hiding. I was scared and couldn't handle with the truth that I really was feeling what I felt. I wanted to make things simple, to make my life easy and clear. Go straight forwardly...

But my feelings, still haven't change and as much as it kills me to see that you lost your faith in me.... I still can't tell you the truth. Even though this all theater kills me.

I love her more than she can ever know.''

Oaah..

Feeling bad again.

I'm not sure why. Just everything.

My life is so boring, even though it's my own choice, kinda.

I have this bad habit of getting nostalgic and remembering old good times and memories with people. I can't get those back and it makes me sad. I would like to create new memories but seems like people just don't. They are busy or so, and I'm just not busy at all.

I wish I could just forget everything. Stop this all and start over. But my memory doesn't let me, it's like a song repeating itseld over an over. Just, I don't want to replay, I want something new.

Any ideas how could I start a new life.. just even, little by little?

Easter's coming..

Lately nothing special.

I did some shopping (a turquoise t-shirt, blue cardigan or whatever and a long-sleeve shirt which is pretty cool ^^) hmmm, still needing some shoes and dresses maybe? : D hahaha.

And I already feel bad when I think of how many chocolate eggs I've eaten this year.. AND IT'S NOT EVEN EASTER YET GWWWAA!! but I never liked the chocolate that is made in somewhere middle Europe and tastes too sweet and yucky hahahah I liked the suprises though ! And I still do hahahahha! I got this cute watermelon eating Hello Kitty^^ and a tiny Moomin magnet hahahah!!
But the best egg is Fazer MIGNON egg! It's delicious!! ^___^
well, of course it is when it doesn't have a suprise in it.

Ohh and I first forgot that today is that stupid foolish day when people try to tell lies over my ears. Well, I have to say I didn't believe a lot of things since my friend a second ago told me something that I really shocked so much that I believed it ! She said that she got fired and I was like whaaaaat and already comfort her and then she tells me it was a trick lol. DAAAARN, this has never happendes before hahahaha! I'm always the one who can say ''got 'cha!''
But heyyyy I'm an honest person and I really hate to lie even on purpose : D so nooooo.

Today I got a little mad when I realized that Liquor store is not open on Saturday so I cannot get my sparkling wine -__- but well, that's fixable heheh.

Yayyy, tomorrow evertyhing is closed and it's gonna rain so I'm probably gonna watch a movie or two and eat more easter eggs.. eww.

Happy Easter! ^^^
I will write more about it later.