wondering

Whoa.

Not sure how i'M FEELING.

it's him. again.. Yes, my little world is moving around him and he probably doesn't even know it. A part of me still wants to believe that he might think of me here and then but let's get real, probably not.
But I know he is thinking someone.. seems like he is in love ! Just maybe.. I should not think about it. Whoever the girl is, I.....
whatever. I'm tired of this.
No way, I think I should now let it out what I think.

I have this HUGE crush in him. Had it since... hmm, from last spring? yeap.
Actually, he filled my head before I broke up with my ex. That's why I broke up with him actually.
Just one thing that makes me wonder is the way he is acting so fucking cold-hearted. I wanted to believe he is not, but it's actually very hard to really see some evidence for that.
But when I was alone with him, he was really nice and and always made me laugh and asked questions. He even teased me a lot. Still he was very spiky with his words sometimes.
He met my parents (accidentally) when we were chilling in a park and visited my house one weekend. I went to movies with him and we had good conversations... he always seemed to have fun with me....... and we were much alike it seemed.

I miss him. We only met once during summer.
For some reason, I'm running away from him. Probably because I can tell that he doesn't give a shit for me..
Still, he is in my head a lot.
At times, I feel like talking to him (sometimes he doesn't reply my txts). But I know that I should not.
I don't know what the hell he wants..
But I should keep myself out.
The only thing is that he has already destroyed me.....

I think I will go for girls from now on