Adored, loved

I came closer to his problem again. I think I found again more reasons to understand him and his behavior. I’m just still so out of my mind and can’t see what’s really going on. Well, a little by little. This is maybe the biggest mystery that I ever tried to solve : D

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He doesn’t seem to realize that there is a big difference between being adored and being loved. You can easily adore a person, even though he is not himself or you don’t even know who he really is. When you love someone, well obviously you know, or at least think you know them pretty well. He might be just acting or just wanting to get attention in any way he does, and that people would adore him and like him, be interested in him. But telling you the truth, being adore is actually nothing… it’s pretty useless and can only boost one’s ego but really doesn’t get one forward.

Being loved, you can only be loved if you really are your true self. If someone loves you and doesn’t really know you, of course it’s meaningless. We all know that first we have to love ourselves so that someone can really love us. Well, in this case, he propably doesn’t love himself, he is just wanting to be adored so that he can feel valuable and important and through that, maybe one day feel loved.

But seems like the only thing that matters to him is being adored and envied, to achieve and succeed in everything he decides to do. He doesn’t care about anyone, he just wants people to like him and be adored. But deep inside, he wants needs to be loved. He needs love, as we all do.
But it’s just a little bit difficult when he really isn’t himself and just wants to concentrate on the other things, to be adored in any way… To be as close to perfect that one can be. He hides his true self because he thinks he cannot be loved if he doesn’t give people reason to adore him. But it’s just the wrong thing to do. That’s why he is unhappy and sad and miserably in pieces from the inside.

He should just be himself and not to care what other people do or think about him. But hey, he is just not strong enough for that. Inside he is so insecure and scared so he really cannot take the risk like that. It’s just easier to build his confidence, which is actually so fake, to improve himself in other ways.


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Ohh wow, I wish he could just open up and try to be himself.